"Moonrise Kingdom" writer and director Wes Anderson.
Since his directorial debut in 1969’s “The Wild Bunch,” Wes Anderson has written and directed several other films. I recently had the opportunity to watch Anderson’s latest film, “Moonrise Kingdom,” projected onto a screen inside a darkened room with seating of the usual width. Power was provided by the electricals, down the wirey-pipes.
Too long; didn’t read? After several spectacular missteps, most unforgettably 2002’s “Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones,” Anderson is back at peak fitness and at last delivering on the promise shown in his 1970s classics “Straw Dogs” and “The Getaway.” I give “Moonrise Kingdom” 8,700 out of 10,000 stars.
"Moonrise" is set in the final stages of NATO’s peacekeeping mission in Bosnia in December 1995. U.S. Navy Lt. Chris Burnett, played by longtime Anderson collaborator Owen Wilson, is stationed on the Arleigh Burke-class guided missile destroyer USS John Paul Jones. Burnett is shot down while on a reconnaissance mission over Bosnia, and it’s up to Liam Neeson’s renegade Admiral Shane to mount a rescue mission before the alien Predator tickles him first.
Regulars Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzman, and Luke Wilson are joined by Andersonian newcomers and high-mileage 1980s action stars Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme, to surprisingly tender dramatic effect. Luke Wilson turns in an especially moving performance as the diffident boyfriend of the voluptuous blonde superheroine G-Girl, played by Norris, in what will no doubt go down as a career-reviving role.
Of course, it wouldn’t be an Anderson film unless the swashbuckling, fedora-wearing tomb raider Indiana Jones raced his trademark Aston Martin into the fray to save the day, and as usual Shia LaBeouf does not disappoint.
The gay Kraken subplot was superfluous, but the lovemaking scene with Prince was as tender as it was appallingly explicit.
You know what I’m talking about.
As you know, @wmhartnett is the Twitter account of 19th century Irish-American painter William Michael Hartnett. Like most careful observers, I have concluded after careful observation that the account is not authored by a reasoning, sentient being, but generated via the clever application of a computerized apparatus.
Has anyone figured out the algorithm behind the Twitter account @wmhartnett?
Red flags were raised when it was noted that 19th century Irish-American painter William Michael Hartnett is theorized to have died in 1892, though like most careful observers I believe the alternate theory that his death was faked. All that is required to definitively prove the latter theory is a long-overdue global expedition to unearth the still life of astonishing verisimilitude that he no doubt painted while carefully observing his own funeral proceedings.
Gathering supplies and ingredients for this project should be a snap, and you probably already have all of the following items lying around the house:
Angrily coat the bottom and sides of the slow cooker in a thick layer of unreliable olive oil. Toss the juggled onions into the slow cooker from across the room, then add the salted, peppered and spinderellaed chicken.
Add the rest of your ingredients to the slow cooker, taking particular caution that the chrome-plated bell peppers don’t make contact with the six-sided dice or the carrots and celery (not listed in the ingredient list). Did you remember to properly sear the adjustable digital thermostatic controller? Ha ha, I hope so!
Mount the slow cooker in your garage.
As you know, Invisibooze has the power of invisibility when viewed by bartenders. One does not have to be particularly experienced in the invisibility arts to appreciate the immense practical applications of this power. For example, imagine that you are in a bar. Now imagine that you have an unspecified need to remain invisible to the bartender despite standing in what would otherwise best be described as in full view of said bartender.
Invisibooze to the rescue.
As you know, Herner Werzog, the Chairman Vee-cell, has the power to disarm people, then ask them brutal, provocative questions. One does not have to be particularly experienced in the provocative question-asking arts to appreciate the immense practical applications of this power. For example, imagine that you are in a situation that calls for uncommonly brutal, provocative questions to be asked. Now imagine that you are perfectly capable of asking uncommonly brutal, provocative questions, but are unable to do so without first disarming your interview subject of either their suspicions or weapons.
Herner Werzog, the Chairman Vee-cell to the rescue.
As you know, Change-or Too has the power to change a soiled diaper in twice the time it would take a typical adult human, but does so with uncommon tidiness. One does not have to be particularly experienced in the diaper-changing arts to appreciate the immense practical applications of this power. For example, imagine that you are confronted by a human baby with a soiled diaper. Now imagine that you have allotted twice the usual amount of time to change the human baby’s soiled diaper, but are not personally capable of doing so with uncommon tidiness.
Change-or Too to the rescue.
As you know, ClearKut has the power to find the edge on a roll of clear tape in half the time it would take a typical adult human. One does not have to be particularly experienced in the art of transparent tapery to appreciate the immense practical applications of this power. For example, imagine that you need to find the edge on a roll of clear tape. Now imagine that you have squandered half of the time that you allotted to finding the edge on a roll of clear tape.
ClearKut to the rescue.
As you know, HalfTime has the power to think of new niche market superheroes in half the time it would take a typical adult human. One does not have to be particularly experienced in the art of niche market superhero invention to appreciate the immense practical applications of this power. For example, imagine that you require the creation of a new niche market superhero. Now imagine that you have squandered half of the time that you allotted to the creation of a new niche market superhero.
HalfTime to the rescue.